Mon, Nov. 12th, 2007, 03:50 am
[info]dagey: my rock

i want to consider myself strong and self-reliant, the belief that i will always endure.

however in my search for a clearer vision, i found those that lifted me to greater heights.

from my new vantage-point, i was able to see farther, think wiser, and love deeper.

upon the shoulders of the greats in my life, i could focus my intent for the betterment of all.

one by one, a fortress of networks began to unfold, seemingly impenetrable, my Camelot.

but i now fear that i am not ready to take the lead, my confidence in myself shattered by a critically-flawed assumption.

i failed to anticipate, i could not see that the central rock, the foundation lacked cohesion.

little by little, the fortress crumbles, and now i must focus not on the vision, but on the very existence, my balance, grasping to each piece i can.


with the vision shaky, the horizon unknown, my darkest vices take hold.

doubt. betrayal. remorse. malcontent.


the struggle in which i now find myself threatens to infect my duties, my abilities, and possibly my very core.

the balancing act permits me to retain various alliances, each of equally-varying potential, but lacking the energy, will, and support to plan for longevity.

a fool of a man to place so much dependency upon such a fragile connection--blinded by the emotional comforts now left to my dreams.

the limit to which one man can be stretched is defined by his ability to adapt, his resourcefulness, his will to endure.

i now fear that limit approaches, the vices are taxing my thoughts and my heart aches in resonance to the crumbling fortress.

the darkness that accompanies such a fall triggers my logic, and i harness enough strength to see out another day...

but there is always the lingering, the painful desire to find my rock and stand whole once again.

...or worse, losing the rock entirely and being crushed in my vain attempts to salvage faltering auspices

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