Tue, Mar. 10th, 2009, 11:38 pm
stop and listen

http://www.egodialogues.com/general/violinist-in-metro.php

i wonder if i would pull lilly and gabe along or let them listen...i'd like to think i'd let them listen...

Wed, Feb. 18th, 2009, 11:04 pm
Gabriel Orion Dagey


Gabriel Orion Dagey was born on February 18th, 2009 at 7:45 PM at Bloomington Hospital in Bloomington, IN and he weighed 8 lbs 4 oz and was 20" long. After a long term, he confirmed that he will be a mama's boy by only crying after birth when taken from his mother's arms to be born. Stubborn bloat already.

Thu, Sep. 11th, 2008, 01:16 pm
Threshold to Her

Standing before the entrance, I became aware of the comfort and serenity that lay out before me. Though you wouldn't notice from the outside, a priceless gem whose sparkle could wash away the aches and defeats of the day was held within. All of the worries and doubts and pains had not the strength to cling any longer once I crossed the Threshold.

And there She had sat and thought and walked and accomplished, bringing each task to a close that would little-by-little climax before my eyes. Though being of a type unable to speak the words that express the gratitude and appreciation and extent of peace brought upon by crossing the Threshold, these emotions exist all the same, and I search for a manner to express them.

The issue is that I cannot even express them to myself, my thoughts are handicapped when attempting to formulate a locution within the jumble of my mind. So, here I make my stand, for honor and admiration and also to remind me through the Shadows lies a Threshold leading to Her.

Wed, May. 7th, 2008, 03:34 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY

Tue, Apr. 29th, 2008, 10:47 pm
i hate LOL

join the crusade
no more lol

Tue, Apr. 29th, 2008, 09:54 pm
hahahahah, she's so cute

while looking at a webpage about The Dark Knight
her: "it's already out, Heath Ledger is in it and he's dead"

me: "not yet, they have editting, do you know who he will play?"

her: "someone who is a main character"

me: "which one"

her: "the clown?"

speaking of which, if you don't stumble, you really should be. it rules.

Wed, Mar. 19th, 2008, 10:55 pm
survival

the deepest introspection can come from a simple glance in the mirror

not wielding the power to lie to myself, my browns rise above the ignorant innocence my mind conceives

recalling on such past introspections, the feelings of doubt and sorrow and pain with which i battled are stirred anew

my weapons are my stars, my threads, my pride, & my stubbornness

I cannot say that I have emerged victorious from each and every battle, but the consequences of failure have given me the advantage I needed

holding this delicate flower in my arms is a bittersweet reminder of my duties and the price of failure

luckily, i'm not very good at folding

Tue, Feb. 12th, 2008, 12:13 am
my personality, for those who are interested

(some of the characteristics seemed to contradict one another, so I list those that I agree with below and made these stand out in the table by bolding & increasing the font size of the higher percentages and bolding and italicizing the lower percentages)

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||| 20%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 63%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 73%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||| 16%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Mystical |||||||||||| 43%
Artistic |||||| 30%
Religious |||||| 30%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 43%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Narcissism |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Self absorbed |||||| 30%
Conflict seeking |||||| 30%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70%
Romantic |||||||||||||| 56%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70%
Wealth |||| 16%
Dependency |||||||||| 36%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Individuality |||||||||| 36%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Histrionic |||||| 23%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Vanity |||| 16%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||| 36%
Indie |||||||||||| 45%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Accommodation results were high which suggests you are nice, happiest when helping and giving to others, do not mind serving others, are unselfish, generous, self sacrificing, caring, loving, peaceful, modest, honest, very loyal, a good listener, have trouble saying no, have trouble being firm, do not enjoy fighting, prefer team victories over personal glory, want everyone to get along.

Intellectual results were high which suggests you like gadgets, are analytical, a problem solver, knowledgable, philisophical, observant, curious, perceptive, enjoy games of strategy, rely more on mind than others.

Work Ethic results were moderately high which suggests you desire accomplishment, are determined, hard working, goal oriented, like the security of working for a company, are a good trouble-shooter, was mature at a young age, do not give up until the work is done, want to be capable and competent.

Change Averse results were high which suggests you follow fairly predictable patterns in life, prefer to stick with things you know, prefer routine and habits, prefer the familiar to the unfamiliar, the habits you have now you will have a year from now, do not like to be without guidance, prefer the proven to the experimental, get very attached to things, want everything to add up perfectly, desire security and support, frequently feel envious, do things by the book.

Cautiousness results were high which suggests you proceed with care in most endeavors, favor sameness and consistency to suprises, feel that something bad will happen if you let their guard down, prefer structure, think the world is a dangerous place, are protective of your feelings, prone to paranoia, fear being harmed or controlled, suspicious of others until they have proven themselves trustworthy, worry about making the wrong choices, think of things in terms of costs and benefits, more contemplation than action, prefer to stick with what you know, worry about consequences.

Sexuality results were moderately high which suggests you are more kinky and erotic, are not oppossed to strip clubs, like to be naked, love getting massages, merge and feel intimate oneness with others.

Physical Security results were high which suggests you feel you have sufficient financial and material resources.

Paranoia results were high which suggests you are suspicious of others until they have proven themselves trustworthy, have more doubt than belief, look for hidden meaning in things, feel misunderstood, think people would not like you if they really knew you, have love-hate relationships with most things, like to test people's loyalty, think life is overrated, feel like an outsider, do not trust what people say, are prone to shame, know the dark side of life very well, would rather remain alone than risk rejection, are hard to get to know.


Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Interdependence results were low which suggests you are not good at taking advice, prefer to do things alone, are difficult to get to know, do not like to be part of a group.

Wealth results were low which suggests you cannot afford more luxuries than most people, did not grow up feeling well off, were not spoiled by your parents, do not come from a wealthy family, have a problem with the gap between the rich and poor widening.

Histrionic results were low which suggests you do not get angry and frustrated if you don't get what you want, do not care people know you won, get attention through positive behavior, do not tend to become involved with people quickly, are not swayed by emotions.

Vanity results were low which suggests you are do not care about how you look to others, believe comfort is more important than looking good, are not attentive to appearance, do not compete for the spotlight, do not care about popularity, do things primarilly for the benefit of others, do not mind being friends with people who are physically unattractive, do not care if people like you.



trait snapshot
secretive, organized, clean, rarely worries, solitary, high self control, dislikes large parties, prefers organized to unpredictable, prudent, observer, tough, self reliant, very good at saving money, introverted, perfectionist, mind over heart, not controlling of others, hard working, confident, resolute, solitary, does not make friends easily, finisher, does not like to stand out, very practical, intellectual, unsympathetic at times, honest, respects authority, follows the rules, cautious

(larger, bold traits are those I agree with)

Fri, Feb. 8th, 2008, 08:42 am
M&M Duels

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.


All over the internet, but I just came across it, hilarious.

Sun, Jan. 20th, 2008, 04:08 am
precious flower

I always feel as if I'm seeking the "right" path in my life, ever wary of the choices that have led so many astray.

There can be no doubt that changes are on the horizon, and my power to mold events seems frail under the bonds of love.

But, perhaps this is just the projection of my perspective, and it would stand to reason that I can alter my perspective accordingly.

No matter the pains of today and the receding hope for tomorrow, there exists a blooming beacon of light, a precious flower.

I doubt my amazement at how well I cling to this one, fragile, innocent symbol will ever fade.

Indeed, it may be the only glimmer of light, no matter how faint, I can make out in the darkness closing in on me.

Seeded by the best ancestral qualities and nurtured in soil wrought from unconditional love and acceptance, the potential for beauty and dominance is like a direct steroid injection into my pride.

So the right path becomes no longer about the path I walk myself, but instead the path best suited for the flower's maturity.

And in this realization, I find a sense of peace that allows me to smile, even if only momentarily, about tomorrow and await the day I hold the flower in my arms and feel the soft, delicate touch unrivaled by any other.

Sat, Jan. 5th, 2008, 05:29 pm
why i do love her

she challenges me intellectually

she is lilly's mother

everything seems perfect when i hold her

i can touch her as much as i want without annoying her

she always tries to lift me up when i get down

she exposes me to new experiences i would let pass otherwise

she understands my background and does not judge where i have been

she values my strongest characteristics

she trusts me to take care of her and lilly

she believes in me when i do not

waking up beside her is the best way to start the day

she makes the best chili

she was willing to go to a sushi bar with me, even though she hates fish

i can tell that she is capable of a deep love

she takes care of herself and helps me do the same

her cheek is the softest i've ever felt

she has the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen

she knows what RAM is and why it's important

she can replace a motherboard

her voice has always been a comfort to me, no matter the circumstance

she has always maintained my interest -- straying is not a consideration

she opens up to me more than anyone else

our conversations are meaningful

our passion is overwhelming

she does not go into a store for one thing and leave with 50

she gives me the freedom i cherish in a relationship

i feel confident in the things i do because she is by my side

she wants to learn things i can teach her

she teaches me things i never thought to learn

she is strong in all the areas i am weak

she doesn't judge me for any of my faults

i rarely ever make her angry

i have always believed in her no matter the doubts of others

i know just what to do to make her smile and feel loved

because she has been on my mind from the first day we met...

Fri, Jan. 4th, 2008, 08:46 pm
glimmers end

it's a new year, but i carry the same old weights.

as more and more are added, my breaking point grows nearer.

desperately trying to find the light through the fog,

i fail to see the day waning, the dark approaching.

am i just prolonging the threads,

unable to accept their final destination...

or is their work truly unfinished?

fear of the darkness is strangling,

distracting my focus, engulfing my heart.

unable to gather the strength to stand,

i am as much part of the problem as anything else.

where the threads will finally end, i cannot say,

but i know that happy endings only exist in fairy tales...

Sat, Nov. 24th, 2007, 06:09 am
ode de ceddy

there are few rules, for that we should be grateful.

his temperament is at best edgy, but you can quickly narrow down the object of his desire.

pet me, feed me, let me sleep


yielding no constraint in voicing his needs, he needs but an opportunity to show his loyalty.

indeed, such benevolence, not readily apparent in such creatures,

is the Newtonian force perfectly suitable for emotional adversity.

Mon, Nov. 12th, 2007, 03:50 am
my rock

i want to consider myself strong and self-reliant, the belief that i will always endure.

however in my search for a clearer vision, i found those that lifted me to greater heights.

from my new vantage-point, i was able to see farther, think wiser, and love deeper.

upon the shoulders of the greats in my life, i could focus my intent for the betterment of all.

one by one, a fortress of networks began to unfold, seemingly impenetrable, my Camelot.

but i now fear that i am not ready to take the lead, my confidence in myself shattered by a critically-flawed assumption.

i failed to anticipate, i could not see that the central rock, the foundation lacked cohesion.

little by little, the fortress crumbles, and now i must focus not on the vision, but on the very existence, my balance, grasping to each piece i can.


with the vision shaky, the horizon unknown, my darkest vices take hold.

doubt. betrayal. remorse. malcontent.


the struggle in which i now find myself threatens to infect my duties, my abilities, and possibly my very core.

the balancing act permits me to retain various alliances, each of equally-varying potential, but lacking the energy, will, and support to plan for longevity.

a fool of a man to place so much dependency upon such a fragile connection--blinded by the emotional comforts now left to my dreams.

the limit to which one man can be stretched is defined by his ability to adapt, his resourcefulness, his will to endure.

i now fear that limit approaches, the vices are taxing my thoughts and my heart aches in resonance to the crumbling fortress.

the darkness that accompanies such a fall triggers my logic, and i harness enough strength to see out another day...

but there is always the lingering, the painful desire to find my rock and stand whole once again.

...or worse, losing the rock entirely and being crushed in my vain attempts to salvage faltering auspices

Sat, Sep. 22nd, 2007, 01:14 am
from here on

thinking back on the many curves

that i've traversed in arriving at this point

this point where fear's grip is most stifling

i can't help but question where the path would lead

had i not been so headstrong and prideful

but then a glimmer in my eye

a rogue thread, lawless, bent on equal salvation

acts as a beacon for those who become lost

whether to follow the beacon or not

is never as easily answered when truly faced with the question

Thu, Aug. 23rd, 2007, 11:47 pm
uh-oh

i was just watching the colbert report with thomas ricks.
this fellow was talking about how cheney gave a speech discussing iraq's WMDs,
that "there is no doubt..." iraq had WMDs, and of course,
there were none (some say they were,
but they were moved; this is stupid as the question becomes
where are they and who let them get away--diversion--but applies even more strongly to my worry).

ricks goes on to discuss how this and the war's blunders have left americans with a
strong distaste for war and mistrust in the government's information that even if a
credible threat from say, Iran, were presented, we would not be responsive...

why does this raise the hairs down my back?
strange resemblance to a story about a boy and a wolf...
and we're on the wrong end of that equation...

what if we let em eat him, haha

Mon, Aug. 20th, 2007, 02:33 pm
only for those who absolutely must know


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Tue, Jul. 31st, 2007, 04:20 am
recurrence

here it is...4 am...a fool's hope to think i'd sleep through the night...

her face is the first image to appear in my head when i open my eyes...it'll most likely be the last if i do find rest again...

the cat must think i'm insane for being up at this hour, but i'm sure he appreciates the company.

our paths are on a collision course.

i wish the threads would subside, a moments' rest without their critical analysis in the background,

but that is not the way, it is not how i've come to this point.

and i know it is now how i will walk away from it...

Mon, Jul. 30th, 2007, 10:52 pm
that feeling

you can't put it into words, but it lingers all the same.

if we could take a snapshot of our emotional state, share it with the world...could we bear the pain

i'm so weary...i feel worn down...tomorrow shows no sign of relief...

take it in stride, hold firm to what is right...

and when what is right forces you to turn away from your heart, turn away your happiness...

then this feeling emerges, grows in strength, and damn near cripples us

i can only hope...there really is more than one chance...to find our soulmate

Mon, Jul. 9th, 2007, 09:14 pm
give this guy a sign


"I'm not sure everybody's going to get an A on the first report card," Snow said. "You are not going to expect all the benchmarks to be met at the beginning of something."

Growing Republican revolt puts Bush under pressure in Iraq
Sheldon Alberts, CanWest News Service
Monday, July 09, 2007



I've got to call Snow on this one--he has a tendency to run his mouth off before thinking. I have to wonder, if this is the beginning, WHAT THE H3LL HAS BEEN GOING ON THE PAST 4 YEARS?

I love how they are crying for time now that there is actual accountability; the shameful bravado accompanying the Bush administration is enough to make even the French appealing.

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